Growing to be a confident woman

What is confidence to you? A straight posture? A dazzling smile? A sparkle in your eyes? This was a question we just recently asked our guests in the Third Eye Festival. And the answers were in a wide variety of choices: Beautiful posture, beautiful face, inner confidence. But the majority of answers were on the surface: A confident, beautiful woman has a straight posture, smiling eyes, she is thin and has a beautiful face. 

And most probably this is the case. On the surface this woman is confident. But is she happy inside? What is really going on inside her? And what does it mean “on the surface”. 

We tend to make judgements by appearance and what we see but this rarely has any good outcome. I have seen a lot of superficial in my life. For example: You are having an awesome date with someone and you see the clues in their behavior, some kind of indication with body language, words that they may feel a certain way. But in your inside your intuition is saying something else … And then it comes, the doubt and procrastination. They are there just at that time where you should be enjoying your date rather then having a conversation with your conscious mind and subconscious inside your head. 

The outcome is usually this – you may like the evening but you feel that something is missing and just maybe, the date does not call you back, because you either misread the clues or were too busy having a mind-conversation. 

If you are anything like me, you might have been all over the place as well, trying to be the best girlfriend material and ended up misreading the clues to pull back. 

Then your best friend, mr procrastination comes and tells you all the things your subconscious starts to bring up from your deepest darkest corners: I think I may not be enough for him, I may not be pretty enough, I think I was too much on that date. He did not want to hug me, is there anything wrong with me? 

Your insecurities show up when you want something but don’t get it. 

This is a rather typical condition when you feel the lack of something and your subconscious patterns emerge. You overreact and overdo on the date or have your procrastination working on a date because you feel a lack of something. And here were superficiality comes to play – can your confidence really be boosted on the outside or does it really, deeply really come, from your inside? 

It can be temporarily boosted with makeup, clothes. But at the end of the day, the lack is still there. 

So what I want you to know is that anyone’s confidence and value lies deep within herself – the feeling that YES! I am loved and cherished and I will fulfill all my deepest dreams. This feeling can come only from the inside. Outer support can come to lift and boost it temporarily but it is created and changed only from your inside. 

So coming to back to the way you look – the beautiful, well taken care of woman, yes she may be confident on the inside but does receiving compliments and getting noticed make her more confident and more importantly, does it lift her own value inside of her? 

In the real world it is the opposite: 

I create my own world. From my inside. 

So start with asking yourself: What do I really want for myself? And how can I give it to myself? 

And more important: How can I make this a habit? 

So dear reader, start with this question and start your journey from the inside,